Calls to ban all birds from Australian Shores

Radicalised bird group "Ibis" have prompted calls to ban all birds from Australian shores.



Tragedy has hit a Sydney based fish and chippery after a radicalised group of birds currently named only as 'Ibis' executed what is being described as "a calous and calculated, highly e'fish'ent 'terrorist' attack" on Moustachios Fish and Chippery, Bondi. 
Local's say the attack was clearly planned as five members of the Ibis group swooped into the store around 3pm on Friday, leaving the store in an unrecogniseable state, sending several patrons into shock and causing severe wounds to two fillets of dory, both named John and several whiting of which we cannot name due to age. 
 
Some residents are now calling for all birds to be

banned from Australia "as they clearly don't care
about the Australian way of life, my kids don't feel
safe trying to get $2 worth of chips and it's not right",
"I blame that sanctuary they have up at Currumbin,
they've been grooming birds for years", Bondi
resident Loudy McHeapstosay told one reporter in
reference to the QLD based Currumbin
Wildlife Sanctuary, formerly Currumbin Bird Sanctuary,
possibly changing the name to avoid being linked to the
group.
 
He went on to call for all birds to be removed from

our country. "I'm not saying all birds are definitely Ibis, but all Ibis are birds, we can't have them getting us in such a flap".
 
Associated radical bird group known as 'The Gulls' have also been noted commiting similiar atrocities in recent years, even attacking citizens in open park areas. 
 
The attack certainly raises the question how long will we let these radicalised bird groups our country.

5 incredibly hostile 'Ibis' who based on appearance are almost certainly responsible for this attack, if not all attacks ever

Disgruntled Sydney resident Loudy McHeapstosay who heard about the incident